Subcategory A: Revelations in the Louvre
1) I have a lot of racist thoughts.2) I love ornate things almost as much as I love croissants.
3) The fact the I dislike pictures of myself is only most of the reason I don't take selfies. The rest is the fact that I totally judge other people for taking selfies.
4) The Egyptian section of a museum is always good, if for no other reason than the fact that they have a lot of cat-related art.
5) I can pronounce French words so well in my head but they always end up sounding comme merde.
6) It was a combination of too many field trip groups and Renaissance paintings of baby Jesus that gave me the inspiration for a photo album entitled "ugly children in the Louvre."
Subcategory B: Recommendations
1) If you are eating out in Montmartre, go to Chartier and Coquelicot.2) Visit Père Lachaise and get lost. Do not agree to meet someone there. You will not find them.
3) The cozy upper floor of Shakespeare & Co. is a great refuge from the rain if you are lucky and it's mostly empty.
4) If you visit Sacre Coeur / Place du Tertre, wander a few blocks to the west, away from the tourists, ideally around sunset. It is beautiful and quaint and feels distinctly french.
Subcategory C: General Life Advice
1) A one-pair-of-pants policy is not great for a three week trip.2) If you have a serious case of bitch face (and voice/behavior), you should maybe not work in a hostel.
3) If it is pouring in Paris, do not take refuge in a restaurant and try to order only wine. The waiter will brusquely tell you that this is not a bar and you must order some of the overpriced food, and no, only dessert will not do.
4) Do adjust your watch when entering a new time zone.
5) Australians are generally lovely people and safe to approach / make friends with.
